10.2.10

Friends. Or Lack of Them.

Get out your Kleenex kids, & don’t say I didn’t warn you. It’s time for a grossly self indulgent super whinge fest from moi.

*sigh*

I don’t have any friends. Here. I do HAVE friends, lovely ones that I miss so much it hurts sometimes, but they are in Sydney or on the Central Coast, and I, am not.

Usually I don’t really mind, the not knowing anybody here business; I am happy taking Punk off to do things, pottering about the house, going to the beach with The Boy, opshopping, crafting, blogging & whatnot… but sometimes, like today, I do mind.

You see when I am at home, or shopping, or beaching, or whatever, my life seems so full & happy that I don’t even realise that I am so far from people that have a little history with me, who like the same things I do, who care about me… but when I venture into a social situation, like I did today, where everybody seems to know everybody else, & even other “new” people have no trouble with chatting & getting to know everyone, I realise that:

a) I suck at small talk and

b) I don’t have any friends.

Dwelling on something like that could get depressing.

I dealt with this feeling before by taking myself out of the depressing situation. The situation being “playgroup”… but Punk’s chronic shyness has seen me return, for her sake, but it isn’t much fun for me. I’m not saying that the other Mums aren’t lovely – they absolutely are, and they have been nice to me, and they would talk to me if I could think of something to talk to them about, but I can’t.

I’ve never been someone that has had a huge circle of friends, I seem to have had several different close friends at different times, but only one or two at a time, my motto being something along the lines of “I don’t like people” (..undoubtedly brought on by moving frequently in my youth, something like “oh yeah… well I don’t NEED any friends, anyway…”). I can’t seem to summon the kind of energy one needs to make friends of people you don’t automatically click with. I know it’s possible, I know it can be done, but I don’t particularly want to do it. Even when I have found someone I like and like to be around, I can be such a homebody that we rarely do anything together anyway (even before Le Punk, I like alone time. A lot.), but it’s nice to know that I could, if I wanted to, go opping with someone, or out for sushi occasionally.

Which makes my situation entirely self induced, & a little bit more depressing.

We’ve been here well over a year now, so “We just moved here…” doesn’t really fly as an excuse for not knowing anyone anymore. I tried all the usual things that one is told to do when moving to a new place – we went to swimming lessons, playgroup… (I actually tried THREE different playgroups… our current group was where I felt most comfortable, Punky would be happy anywhere…) I even volunteered for a “green” workshop a while back which I enjoyed a lot – even had things to talk about with the peeps there – but once the workshop was over, I never saw any of them again.

I don’t know what the exact problem is. Maybe it’s the “Mummy Factor”. Apart from some people that I became quite close with online when I was pregnant, I don’t have any friends who are parents. Lots of woman make friends at their Mothers group for example – I didn’t get one of those. We moved from Sydney to Melbourne in the weeks we should have been starting a Mothers group somewhere… had I gone to one I might feel more comfortable with other Mothers where the favourite topic of conversation is pregnancy, birth or babies. And that is something I at least have one child worth of experience in! The ladies I meet seem to speak another language to me – I catch some references to “careers” or “new cars”, but have nothing of my own to add.

I don’t meet anyone that would rather go to the oppy than Kmart. I don’t meet people that openly make things. I definitely don’t meet any wannabe vegan lapsed vegetarians. ;) I don’t meet people that know what it’s like to not know anybody. I’ve only ever met one person that knew who Richard Brautigan was before they met me.

And it sucks.

45 comments:

  1. I SWEAR if I had the money to buy me a freakin flight ticket, I would take the next flight to Melbourne to tell you face-to-face that I love you.

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  2. Naaaaaaaaw Gabi! Way to make a gal feel better! I won't even tell you that you'd have to endure the flight, a bus trip into the city & a 2 hour train ride before you got here... ;) I'll just enjoy the sentiment. xo

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  3. Vic, I have been doing the kindergym; kindergarten and school roundabout for 6 years now. 6 years, 3 children, numerous people. And on a daily basis, I feel pretty isolated. I do have some close friends here that I see occasionally but none of them share my passions for sewing, crafting, sushi and Spandau Ballet. (Hence my extensive friendship group on the forum) I just don't have much to say. Like you, I am not good at small talk; I probbaly come across as aloof (whereas really I am shy...OK, occasionally apathetic but never aloof) Most of the time, I don't care that th eother mums huddle and chinwag and organise their social catchups but occasionally I do wonder if it is me (even if it isn't something I particularly want) So I hear you girl. It is part of the human condition to want to be loved and liked and to have company..even if it is only now and then. Love you girl!

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  4. God Tas, I don't know what is up with me today but you made me cry. ;)

    In a good way... I think. I don't know... you "get" it. You absoloutely do! I don't WANT to go to cafes to talk about bugaboo strollers & provide Le Punk with babycinos, but I do want to feel like I'm not totally alone in this place we are going to call home... I think it is so much harder in a country town, everybody knows everybody & has shared knowledge of things, in Melbourne I was a regular at an ABA meeting & occasionally went shopping with a Mum with a child Punk's age, and that was nice, just the right level of social interaction for me, but now I have nothing. Just feeling sorry for myself today is all.

    Thank you for understanding. Really.

    xo

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  5. Vic the door is always open if you guys ever make it to Adelaide - I'm a bit the same - okay with being on my own and I'm not great at the small talk thing - I usually end being the 'oh you know her? The crazy hippi' mum - But there is always wine & an oppy here! Where we live we have no Kmart!

    These days I think sometimes people end up with a larger social circle online than in real life.

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  6. Oh, I absolutely empathise with this - I could have completely written it. I try and fob off that Blogging and visiting other social blogs is my "social time". I feel so awkward around people I don't know. Plus we live about 60kms out of the city and I can't be bothered traveling in to see the friends I do have - the cool hipsters who DON'T have kids, whho don't understand all the dramas that go along with having kids.

    We're in the Dandenong Ranges, if you ever want to have a bloggy-related playgroup catch-up???

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  7. Vic - please know that you have many, many blog friends just like me. You're a gem. If you're ever in Melbourne - lets have coffee and a playdate! Nic xx

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  8. Other parents with children are highly over rated, in fact, I don't care for most of them...the parents or the children.

    Seriously, I wish I could pop over for a chai and some oppy love! I know how it feels to be isolated and slightly left of center. Some days are just harder than others.

    Know that you have loads of blog friends who think that you are ace. I know it's not the same as some face to face time with a good pal but, we do adore you!

    "My God, ma'am, you're so pretty I'd walk ten miles barefooted on a freezing morning to stand in your shit."
    — Richard Brautigan

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  9. Last night I was feeling exactly the same. At school I don't really have any friends to hang out with or do lunch with like the other ladies and it can get you down sometimes. I am a home body and like to just do simple easy going things, going out to a restaurant is not what I'm about too much anymore, hanging out at a park having a bbq is what I like more. Just know that you aren't alone we all think you are great and funny and groovy and all things cool.:)))

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  10. I have a really hard time making new friends too. I am SO SO SO bad at small talk. I just feel TOTALLY awkward talking to new people, and I feel like they are judging me for being so awkward...which makes it even more awkward. it's a vicious circle.

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  11. Vic - Hugs. I'm another one who feels the same at times. Most of the time I'm happy with just the company of my family but it would be so nice to have a GF to visit when the day isn't going as it should.

    I'm really uncomfortable in social situations. So To cover up how uncomfortable I am I tend to blab about everything! Then end up feeling like I said the wrong thing and just sounded stupid.

    I have to laugh at Tas .....I just don't have much to say! ......I'm dobbing on you Tas! Tas spent the entire road trip to Vic and Back talking! I had trouble getting a word in!

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  12. I relate to everything about this post! I find it really hard to make friends, because i hate all the small talk shit. i'd rather just jump in to the real stuff. Since moving to tassie i've met lots of people but i put in a hell of a lot of effot and put myself out of my comfort zone heaps. i've met lots of lovely people but only one I'd call a close friend, and they was just a fluke that i met someone so soon that i get along with so well. the best advice my mum gave me was to remember that through life you will only ever have a few very close friends. and i have learnt that being odd, just being crafty or liking op shops is still (crazily) not accepted by most people! that's my i'm loving blogging at the moment and connecting with so many people on the same wave length. hope you are feeling happier soon xxx

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  13. Big Hugs. Where I live we only know my boyfriends friends, been here 6 months and still havent made a friend of my own. It's hard getting out there and making friends. An op shopping/mothers group/just moved to the area/not a crazy person group sounds like a fantastic group!
    I love op shops and kmart.. I hope you will still be my friend.

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  14. I so know what you mean … and I feel the same way when I don't think I actually fall into the shy category.

    For me it’s always been that when I meet people they’re so busy with what they’re doing, with people they have relationships with and they don’t have the time or the space or whatever to be interested in me.

    Definitely keep looking for opportunities where there’ll be interaction you like … mother’s group, a walking group if you can find one, a book club, a team sport like touch football or netball if you play sport, and maybe even a craft group. If Daylesford can support so much craft there must be others in country Vic interested in craft. Heaven forbid … see what the CWA is like in your area. Hopefully, women under 75 join the CWA and they’re definitely supportive when it comes to craft. (And I just checked the CWA Vic website and it sells AIDA cloth and thread! I didn’t expect that).

    Hang in there and don’t give up. Harder to do than say I know … and when you’re next in Melbourne come to Northern Craft Bonanza. I’ve only been the once and it’s my foray into meeting more people interested in craft … I guess I’m doing the same thing as you at the moment myself.

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  15. Crikey I could have written this post myself a year or two ago, but things are changing and it was by me joining craft groups etc that I have met like minded people.

    Also, does your Playgroup run of different days. My local one runs from Mon - Thurs. I first tried the Thursday group, and they were horrible, snobby and down right mean. So I changed to the Wed and these mum's are amazing, today we talked about sewing and great places to get cool fabric. What more could one ask for :)

    Hope you feel better soon, hugs xx

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  16. Welcome to the world of the socially awkward. (don’t you think the word awkward just says it all, the word itself is indeed awkward)

    I don't even have a child as a conversation crutch when stuck in a room of breeding age females. And its probably comments like that that don't help. What can I say, its so much more fun being inappropriate. It'd be ace if someone once in a while 'got it' though.

    I'd totally be your friend.
    I am also available to stalk to for a nominal fee.

    I am with Lola, Blog world is so much better, at least the illiterate are screened out if nothing else!

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  17. hah Im much the same as you.
    But I really am happy to just hang out with ayesha or the kitties hehe, but once i have kids ill try the whole playgroup thing to make mummy friends like you are.
    if it was lonely, or whatnot, id worry but, its all good ya know?

    ill come be your friend in july (im looking forward to seeing you, its been what, 10 years?!! insane!)

    oh and ill email you soon, my email is my name first and last name, at hotmail.com, if you ever need me :)
    xx

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  18. I've just read everyone else's comments. Being single, and not having the husband/kids experience, don't feel qualified to say anything, but....yes, there is a but! Hopefully by posting your feelings, you know there are people who care. Remember, emails are quicker to send and reply to than snail mail. If you love books, why not check out the library? They may even have a kids club. Also, they may have a notice board of local activities, or clubs, etc. Thinking of you, and thnks for all of your help, Jenny (yes, ex Library Assstant for quite a number of years!)

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  19. poor you!
    I moved 500 kms from all my mates 9 years ago now and its really hard... it took a while but I feel like i have some really good mates now but it happened gradually... I am hopeless at small talk too- in fact I juswt bought a bookcalled teh art of conversation such as my supreme hopelessness at small tlak- in my work I talk to people about the big dark secret stuff so i am really bad at talkign about small things... like small talk... have you thouth about starting your own craft group- I am positive that you will find other like minded souls. xxx
    PS and we all think you are really tops! x

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  20. Sometimes I think, you can't fight who you are. But also, sometimes, it takes a little bit of effort to create little friendships. I also think quality is better than quantity, yet sometimes, some things are better done with some company around. Maybe it is all about being content with what you have.

    Funny thing is, I have *always* thought that mums with children gel instantaneously. I sound very much like you -- I am the sort who feels she does not need friends. I am slowly beginning to change this mindset, but still finding it very hard to make small talk with people (because, after all, I am just a dumdum housewife, right?)... and I do not appear to be the most approachable. Hmm. Well, best not to dwell on the negative things, but focus on the good. I suppose.

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  21. Awww what a bugger. Are there any local craft groups that you can join? At least then you'll be meeting like minded people.
    Once my mum moves down your way, I'll come and visit for sure!

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  22. if I was there I would give you a big hug!! I totally understand. I know exactly what you mean about not bothering to make the effort with people that you don't really relate to either. Where I am, it is a rural irrigation community and it has been sooo hard since I moved here. I have totally immersed myself in a million different things, i kinda feel like I'm turning into one of those people that knows about alot of things but is not really good at anything!! there are a lot of people here that drive 1.5 hrs just to go to the renmark bigW!! we don't have a sushi bar either.

    But there are definitely positives here - imagine if everybody op shopped, there would be nothing left for us!

    Also, I think it does take time when you move somewhere new (so don't give up). I've been here 2 years and only really just started to feel more comfortable and start to make a friend or two.

    And everyone here in cyper space totally loves you xo

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  23. Oh. Wow.

    Thank you everyone for your kind words, virtual hugs & support, would you believe I'm speechless...?

    I didn't think so. ;)

    Feeling quite a lot better this evening - had a bit of a cry when The Boy got home, took Le Punk to the pool and had hideously unhealthy yet delicious take away for dinner, followed by gorging on the most wonderful comments from the most wonderful bloggers a girl coule ever want.

    Thank you my darlings, it means SO MUCH to read your words & know that I'm not the only one that feels this way, and that you like me for who I am... even if I am a nigel no friends. ;)

    xoxoxoxo

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  24. When we moved to Daylesford 9 years ago I didn't know a soul. For a while I was happy to hang out alone or to have my Melbourne friends come and play but then it got silly and I just had to make friends here. I did a few things; I got a job making coffees at a place in town that all the people I thought I'd like hung out at. Bren would have Indi for those 2 days a week and I could serve people and slowly get to know them without the pressure of a social situation. Next I did a chook course. There I met and hung out with people with similar interests as mine so we have that to chat about in the breaks and then I had people to say hi to in the stupid market. and then I hung out at the play ground and met other Mum's who were busy with their own lives and families but after bumping into each other a couple of times we'd chat a bit and gradually make proper friends. 9 years later I feel like I have the best friends I have ever had here. There is hope for you yet. You are ace and cool and things like this just take time. I'm sure as time goes by it'll get easier and more fun. XX

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  25. i love you Vic my australian soul mate...Was that post you wrote about me....I so love that you & all the peeps that commented on your blog are here in the world & I am not alone.. I live in a tiny village where if your not a farmer or born in Yorkshire then go fish!! Tried playgroup, pta, the pub, socials, get togethers...even Womans Institute just upset everyone with my strange junk shop ways & my stitchy brilliance of course hehehe. My small talk always refers to the weather that is about the limit of my politness.
    So you got no friends, well nor have I far to high maintence there's far more interesting things to do...and who needs friends in the flesh when there are all these wonderful bloggers to share with...love ya & Punky Rxxx

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  26. Hmmm.. I think everyone else has pretty much said it all, but I truly empathise with you. I get pretty down at times too, I'm probably lucky I'm so busy with my family. And I haven't "clicked" with anyone since I met my husband - 16 years ago!
    I'm interested to know your town, I was in W.bool over the weekend, are you near there? We were actually scouting the area for our (hopefully) future home.

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  27. Oh honey-pie this is a dilemma! I haven't read any of the other comments so someone's probably already said what I'm going to say but here's some stuff I've learnt in the last 5 years since having my first boy and moving away from the city and stopping work and needing to make FRIENDS!

    OK, so like you I like alone time A LOT. I moved a lot as a kid and don't really do that great at making friends. I find it so awkward.

    I've made some great friends admittedly through my mothers group but here's the thing. I couldn't stand them at first. How could I possibly become friends with a group of women who ALL (and there was 26 to pick from at this stage) said that they couldn't really remember what they did before they had kids when their kids were only a month or two old! I was horrified that no one had a hobby other than shopping or coffee.....you can imagine my immense rant when I got home from that meet up!

    There were so many times in the first two years where I just could not be bothered being around them but I persisted mainly for the boys sake and it whittled down to a small group of 4 of us who, although I really have nothing in common with have similar values which is really important and a great common ground.

    Playgroup is a hard nut to crack! I tried it about 3 times (different ones too) and I found it yucky. If you want to crack the playgroup nut you have to really get involved and even then it's going to take time before you click with anyone or even find a little common ground. Eventually you will but it'll take effort and work!

    Have you thought about maybe starting up a little craft group in your area? Maybe a Brown Owls group....now I've met some great friends throught Brown Owls! Friends who seem like friends you've known forever cos they know about creating!

    Good luck....it's hard, I know but if I can make friends I know that you can!

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  28. Oh Vic, snap ditto snap...I am actually at the point where I am satisfied that I too wierd for public consumption....I just can't find mates in Melb. I miss Sydney too. I am crap at chit chat to help myself, the kinder experience left me further on the outside, and then I thought I'd play netball and the princesses I played with were so brutal (and dumb) that I felt I was living in a bubble and wearing no clothes. Heck I can't even find someone to go to the Spandau Ballet concert with! I am such a loser!! LOL

    If you ever fancy a trip to Heidelberg for an op shop, then look me up - we don't have to small talk or big talk either we can just do cake and thrift! LOL...

    Don't worry lovely, yes it does suck when you find yourself in a vanilla pocket....my mum tells me water finds its own level, lets hope so!

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  29. Vic, im just another person commenting on here letting you know that your not alone with those feelings. I find it difficult to make friends, as I so seldomly meet people who 'get' what I enjoy - whether it be sewing, thrifting, watching Global Village, being so silly that fizzy drink snorts out my nose, buying Blythe dolls, eating dessert as a main mean at restaurants, and other rather immature things which 27 year olds should supposably have grown out of.
    The moment I begin small talk with new people I imagine the person analyse me for my awkwardness, which in turn makes me stumble and spaz my words up. I cannot even give a decent oral presentation at work. I litarally choke up.
    I have lived in Adelaide for 10 years and am lucky to have made 3 very good freinds who I love but do not all live in mu city. This can be so difficult. I empathise with you Vic, I truly to.
    I too enjoy my own company and find myself at home alone contently crocheting or watching Gilmore Girls episodes till the cows come home.
    I could keep on going - but it's nice to know there are others out there who have some similar worries and yucky days. I have shed tears over this exact issue many time.
    xxx HUGS xxx Tracey
    ps: Best wishes with waking up tomorrow morning with a fresh positive mind.

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  30. p.p.s: Jetta's idea of Brown Owls is sensational- i started up the Adelaide group last year with 2 girls and it is slowly helping me to overcome my friend making phobias. They are the nicest bunch of people, and we have things to talk about!!!

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  31. Vic, by now you know you are not the only one that feels like this. Hubs and I moved 1500 miles away from my home town three years ago. I left behind a life time of friends and family. I am 50 years old, so there is no chance that I can make friends through playgroup. And I do not have a job, so I can not get friendly with coworkers.

    When I need to see another face besides Hubs, I will visit some neighbors (but they are almost 90!) I have also made a wonderful friend through a quilting class I attended.

    Just know that you are not alone! HUGS!

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  32. Vic, I know I am late chiming in on this post but I have not had my internet for days sob sob. First of all a big hug (((()))). I know what you are saying and I hope that the universe brings ya someone nice soon. Maybe this time was needed for you and P? I have been here for 8.5yrs and I have 2 friends!! You see I stopped making friends because as expats they come and then go, come and then go and I just got tired of making new friends as I know I am staying here. I know a lot of mums here but as for true friends I have two and for that I consider myself very lucky.
    Big Hug xxxxx

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  33. Being a bit of a "gypsy" myself - I have felt that way too.

    I'm moving to Fish Creek Victoria in 2 weeks from Queensland and scared to death of the whole making new friends thing AGAIN.

    I've moved to 2 foreign countries and lived on 3 seperate continents.

    New Zealand took a lot longer and I had a lot fewer friends. Oz has been faster, but I've had to weed thru the friends to make sure I had quality ones - not the energy zappers. BEWARE of energy zappers.

    Sometimes you have to go outside your comfort levels like "chino'ing" with the girls to find them. You might be surprised who you find - they might be really special people that you didn't see to start with.

    The other girls had some fantastic suggestions too.

    Just do what feels right.

    Maybe it's time for another addition to Casa De Le Punk??

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  34. Interesting post I could certainly relate to.

    I was only complaining to my husband last night how many of my friends are 'flaky' as he politely calls it. I work in welfare and seem to attract alot of people who's socialising style is around them and their personal problems. They could politely be called unreliable. I would really like to spend time with people who want to have fun, who want to spend time with me doing fun things (picnics,day trips markets,cooking,op shopping,cocktails etc)!

    I realised at the end of last year how much time I was spending alone crafting at home with a glass of wine, missing social events etc due to the demands of a crafty business and a full time job. So I've scaled back.

    My husband is a former 'famous' musician so he has lots of friends who often aren't all that interested in talking about things which interest me, to the point of barely acknowledging my presence on occasion.

    I don't have children (or intend to) but I am not anti-parents. If anyone is not cringeing by now, I'd be very happy to join in on some social gathering for people in Melbourne...

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  35. ohh lovely! I have been out of sorts the last few days & haven't popped by!! sorry to read this, I'll flick you an email.
    hugs to you ♥

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  36. You and me have got to get together!!! I think I am your evil twin, I say I'm the evil one because I actually like not having friends (cough "liar" cough).
    My Mum is constantly telling me I need friends to which I reply, "I am a rock, I am an island", she usually rolls her eyes and gives up after this or maybe I just confuse her!
    But seriously I just don't meet people who I connect with, when I moved to Macedon I went to one Mothers group and never went back, it just wasn't me and never would be.
    I think the Brown owl thing sounds perfect, I think I would actually consider doing that.
    So I hope to run into you one day and I dare say it will be in an op shop. I will be the Mum with red shoes on and 2 bored little girls saying 'not another op shop!'
    All the best,
    Vanessa xx

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  37. Oh I forgot to add, small talk arhhhh, I can do with out that. Apparently it's good for something but for the life of me I can't think what!

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  38. OMG! Reading your post just as if reading my own story! I was just whinging (kinda;) in my blog that I have ups and downs time. My only soulmate is my hubby. Most of my friends don't share the same wavelength like I do. Hence, I thought maybe I should hangout in blogland and get to know like minded talented people like you and the others.

    I guess I want to tell you is that. Just remember we the supports behind the computer (teehee!) DO FEEL the same. AND most of all is: YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Your post lifted my day early morning! As I knew am not alone too.
    HUGS~

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  39. Oh Vic, I totally could write this post too. But then I HAVE found a couple of gals in this town who I do call good friends, and we do have some stuff in common. What I really crave is a SISTER, a for REAL sister. *sigh*
    Now you can drive I expect a visit down here real soon, I'll give you an awesome oppy tour, for sure! c'mon!

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  40. Vic - I too cold have written ths - as you know we move ALOT - and I usually find it easy to meet people and make friends. This time is harder - people just dont want another friend.

    I have been to three playgroups already and on Monday we are going to pack up morning tea and try yet another - I have my fingers crossed that this is the one. Amelia has stated Kindergarten and I would also really like to ge to know some of the other mum's - humm maybe I should invie them for coffee here or something:)

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  41. I just want each & every one of you guys to know that your kind words here and via email have made me feel so increadibly blessed to know any of you at all, even if it is only "virtually".

    I am overwhelmed by the support you've given me & didn't expect it at all - after all, I was just having a crappy day...!

    I can't believe how many of you know exactly what I am talking about, how many of you are struggling or have been struggling with these exact issues... it has blown me away, especially when I thought I was the only one.

    Thank you.

    It means so much that you took the time to share.

    xo

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  42. okay, here goes: this is my first post on anyone's blog... time to delurk.

    I was at (your) playgroup on Wednesday. I was the one with the new baby in the hawaiian-shirt-style pouch/sling thing.

    I moved here from the other side of Victoria two months ago, and knew no-one in town (except one rather remote connection). I'm a very reserved person by nature, even on-line, but am trying to step out of my shell in order to make some new friends here. This is to keep a promise I made to my daughter - she misses her little friends from our old home (and I miss mine!).

    I found your blog a while ago - via the toy society blog - your toy drop in the local park.
    I've only visited your blog a couple of times, but have read enough to know that it *was* you and your daughter at playgroup on Wednesday. Not that I knew you'd be there or anything, I'd met Louise a few weeks ago and she invited me along. I did mean to say hello to you, but was chatting to another lady there (and didn't know how to de-lurk without you feeling like I've been stalking you). If you're there next week I certainly will say hello (or if I see you anywhere else in town).

    I don't have a blog or anything, but I do like to craft. And I do make things (I made that sling I was wearing my baby in - does that count as 'openly' making things?). I MUCH prefer to op-shop than go to target or k-mart (have gotten a few things already from the Salvos and Vinnies in town but it's hard to go shopping with a toddler and a new baby). And I miss that there's no ABA group here too. [I have no idea who that Richard guy is though!]

    So anyway: Hello, I'm Rebecca, maybe we can go op-shopping some day ;-)

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  43. Wow.

    Hi Rebecca! *waves*

    *ahem*

    I noticed your sling, and wondered to myself if you'd made it - it wasn't the sort of fabric they come made in - it was cute & beachy! Had I bothered to actually ask you - well, perhapas all sorts of trouble could have been averted... ;) I hope you weren't offended by the rather blatent stereotyping at the end there - about the "openly make things" or the kmart comment - it is so much easier to blame external issues for problems than to realise the problem lies with you.

    This is going to sound horrible - really horrible - but you were some of the reason I was so down after playgroup...! Because you were new & chatting happily like you belonged & I was jealous! I was jealous of your small talking ablilites & seeing you get along with everyone so easily just made me realise how much I suck at that sort of thing...!

    You know now, don't you, that I am going to be terrified of playgroup next week?!

    Thanks for delurking... it didn't hurt... did it?! Maybe all my whinging was productive is some way after all... ;)

    Feel free to email me if you like (my email is in my blogger profile), elsewise, Miss Punk & I will see you next week.

    Oh, and on opshopping with kidlets - although I only have one - I find frequent, flying visits are the way to go! There is no settling in for a good fossick when there is a mischievious kidlet headed for the china.

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  44. I have a gfriend that I was close to for so many, many years....we've drifted apart...long, long story...your post made me sad about it again. Thanks for sharing the struggle of finding kindred souls to journey this life with...

    ReplyDelete

Let's have a chat. And a biscuit. And some tea. And another biscuit.

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