What is wrong with this picture;
That’s right… NADA. What is wrong with PEOPLE?!
Why is breastfeeding still such a tabo subject to so many, and the beautiful image of a mother nourishing their child deemed offensive?!
The photo above is used as a promotional image for a handmade jewellery business; Mumma Rocks! Baby safe bling for the modern mumma (I have one of her nursing necklaces by the way, it is beautiful) – the woman pictured is Jen, the owner of the business, & this image was reported as indecent or offensive on facebook yesterday, resulting in it being removed from her facebook business page. When she uploaded it again, facebook banned her from uploading ANY photos for a week.
Even though facebook seems to be forever doing things like this – deleting users gorgeous breastfeeding images while leaving far more offensive pictures of women in derogatory poses & wearing far less – it is not the only place where breastfeeding is questioned, looked down upon or deemed inappropriate.
When the beautiful Miranda Kirr & her hubby Orlando released the first pictures of their child; pictures featuring a glowing Miranda breastfeeding their squishy new infant, eyebrows were raised by many & mutterings of “cover up” or “…it’s okay for her!” were heard probably not just all over this country, but all over the world.
I’m so sick of something natural, beautiful, healthy & RIGHT, being questioned & more importantly UNSUPPORTED. Seriously, breastfeeding is hard enough without having to fight for acceptance amongst your community, friends or family; is it any wonder that so many mothers relent & move to formula feeding when instead of being celebrated, this natural wonder is being frowned upon?
What disheartens me the most is when I see or hear other mothers putting breastfeeding down in various ways, & consequently putting breastfeeding mothers down too. “Breastfeeding is yucky.” “Nobody wants to see your boob hanging out.” “Go to the toilet to feed the baby.” “Feed the baby before you leave the house.” “Why don’t you pump & use a bottle in public?” “I don’t want my children to see that.” Unfortunately, all of these things I have personally seen or heard given as “advice” to a breastfeeding mother, usually by another woman… Whatever their reasons for thinking that their view is correct, be it misinformation, justification or just plain ignorance, this sort of abuse, yes, abuse, is not okay.
When are women going to start to support each other? Mothers support mothers? When is society as a whole going to start not only seeing breastfeeding as completely normal again, but better still, not bat an eyelid?
Only when it IS completely normal again, in my opinion. Only when everybody sees it every day, thinks of it as the primary way to feed our babies & the years of ridiculous brainwashing to think otherwise have been washed away.
Even The Boy has said to me that he is made uncomfortable by nursing in public – he doesn’t have a particular reason – believe me I’ve questioned him enough – he just thinks that it should be done in private. Unfortunately for him, Suspence & I do not agree & we will get to it wherever & whenever we need to; but for woman who are already unsure or uncomfortable, this sort of ‘disapproval’ could prove fatal for their young breastfeeding relationship – that’s why they, we, need all the support we can get.
I think you can tell I’m angry. Of course I am. This sort of rubbish should not be happening, yet it is, every day. We should all be angry, whether we are women or breastfeeding or not.
OMG it really does not cease to amaze me when people get on their high horse about things are are just natural.
ReplyDeleteFrom the moment we become mothers there is something to feel guilty about and this should not be one of them.
People need to pipe down and let mothers have the right to choose.
AND BTW if someone else could program my baby to only want a feed when it was convenient I will buy the patent for that!!!
Right on! Totally agree!
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way, it is so nice to have you back in blogland, even if it might be only for a while.
Your blogs and pics always brighten up my day!
Fantastic post :) and BEAUTIFUL pictures xxx
ReplyDeleteBravo, Vic. I must say that this issue to me is like the fact that people judge others because of their skin colour...or who they are in love with. Totally ridiculous, all of it. So called pop stars can flash their bits in public just because they want to cause a stir, and get away with it. Mothers who are nurturing their babies and children are something beautiful and should be treated as such.
ReplyDeleteI was arebel 20 years ago and fed in all sorts of places. Not offensively and generally only visible to those whose imaginations worked overtime. After all if an unhealthy, germ loaded bottle, (has to be because in most cases the water and bottles have not been correctly sterilised and then they've been sitting, probably not in 4degrees conditions) can be whipped out whenever to pacify the child why not the best possible nutritional and clean substance known to us.
ReplyDeleteMy friends who currently feed are very lucky as our crowd totally accepts breastfeeding. I cannot imagine a world where people are so offensive to others that they put them down for doing this. Very sad. Just do it and look people in the eye till they turn away if they have a problem. Cherrie
BRAVO!!!!!! I completely, wholeheartedly agree with you! It is something I shake my head at very regularly. Not only breastfeeding but also breastfeeding past the age of 6 mths, GASP!
ReplyDeleteHear hear!!! I think people forget that breasts are actually mammary glands and their primary function is for feeding babies and not for men to leer at in magazines. Breasts shouldn't always be seen as something sexual but rather for what they evolved for - FEEDING!
ReplyDeleteWhen breast feeding my young son at a restaurant I was told to "Stop doing that please, I'm trying to eat" My reply was "So is he" and kept right on feeding my child, the person, was quite taken aback. As for those who say feed the baby in the "bathroom/toilet/public restroom" I say "When was the last time you ate or drank there?" Seriously these people need to get a grip. The baby is eating not turning it's Mum on and if the observer has a problem then they should just deal with it.
ReplyDeleteBravo for getting out there and doing what's natural, you go girl!
I totally agree with you!
ReplyDeleteI breastfed both of my darlings whenever they needed it.
I use the theory that if you don't like the view, don't look.
people are so disconnected from 'natural' it's not funny. disconnected from periods (it's dirty, we can't touch it, and it needs to be disposed of immediately), where food comes from (some of the young girls at my work where shocked to the see me cut up a lettuce because they'd only ever seen it come from plastic bags), and... breastfeeding... hmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteyou know what makes it all worse is that it's ok to put the most skantly clad women everywhere to promote anything, but a bit of booby is all wrong. and i must admit, while i agree with you wholey i still get a bit shocked when i see someone breastfeeding - only because i don't see it often enough
Go you! Couldn't agree more. Unfortunately I battle the same judgements, even at home from dh, who can only see bf a toddler as being ridiculous :-(
ReplyDeleteLuckily ds isn't too impressed with dads opinion. He just wants booboo!
Thank you for your blog, love it!
yeah it's a good point, it's deemed ok for 'super models' like Miranda Kerr but deemed indecent for those who do not look like her. I do not have children or have any desire to procreate but I respect the rights of women who choose to be mothers to use their breasts for what they were biologically intended. I'd further add though, women who are unable to breast feed (whatever the reason) seem equally subject to social stigma...
ReplyDeleteSo it's OK for 12 and 13 year old girls to put photos on FB showing plenty of breast and underwear (sad but true, I regulary check my daughters account) but not for this!
ReplyDeleteIt's so wrong!
I was unable to feed any of my 3 (all for different reasons) so to say I envy these women would be an understatement. I would of loved to get my boobs out in public and put my middle finger up to anyone who dare criticise!
B xxx
I absolutely agree!
ReplyDeleteCouldn't have said it better, Vic! Nothing to add.
ReplyDeleteAnd, by the way, those photos are beautiful, esp. the second one - it gives such a heart-warming feeling to me, and I can't understand how anyone could feel else. No. No. No.
I totally agree how can it be wrong/disgusting to feed a child the way it was meant to be fed but completely OK to have scantily clad women in all sorts of compromising poses on everything from cars to phones to music videos! It's just an indication of how screwed up our society is. Oh, and sure I want to feed my baby in a stinking toilet, how about they go eat their lunch in there and see how 'pleasant' it is.
ReplyDeleteI thought I would add my 2 cents worth here. My two children were both breast fed on demand. I used a cloth over my shoulder to cover up and I never had anyone comment on my breastfeeding in public.
ReplyDeleteYet I have a problem with the first photo you posted. To me it is overly styled and not at all what breast feeding is about. I think breast feeding is a beautiful thing between mother and child, not a marketing moment.
In saying that, if that is the marketing choice of Mumma Rocks, then she should have the right to use it. I don't agree with that photo being taken off her account.
I am glad I have never heard anyone make comments or pass judgement on a breastfeeding mother, Miranda Kirr or otherwise.
Hi Becky, thanks for your comment.
ReplyDeleteI believe Jen's photo was part of a bigger family portrait style session, I'm unsure if whether the breastfeeding photo was an impromptu moment captured by an opportunistic photographer or whether it was planned, but it was a moment that she wanted to remember & stylised or not it is a fabulous picture for her & her son to have; & to me it makes perfect sense to use a photo from her own life & experience as a promotional tool for her business which is all about breastfeeding & babies.
I think there are much worse images used in advertising & that can cause so many more problems than this one; what negative outcome can there be from this photo? What negative outcome could there be from the image of an underweight pre-teen in designer jeans looking wistfully out from the cover of a magazine?
By saying that breastfeeding is JUST a moment to be shared between mother & child I think you are supporting the "stay home & cover up" argument; but if breastfeeding mothers do not model normal, natural behavior for their daughters, for all children, for their family & in their community, how does the message survive? Where is our "village"?
In my opinion, breastfeeding SHOULD be so normal, so observed, that a photo of it, stylised or not, should be just like any other photo of a mother & child, & nobody should bat an eyelid...
Cheers,
Vic
Vic, I never said it was JUST a moment to be shared between mother & child. I am not supporting the "stay at home and cover up" argument as that is not what I did with my two children at all. I fed my two by demand, even if that meant in the middle of Big W.
ReplyDeleteI understand that your friend decided to use that picture to promote her related business which is not an issue either. I personally just didn't like the styled nature of that particular photo. I don't have a problem with the message, or her choice to use it.
Hey hon, I'm not trying to argue with you at all, I just think the language you used "I have a problem with the first photo...", does suggest that there is something wrong with it, not that you just don't like the style.
ReplyDeleteThe last thing I want is more debate here about this, it's nutso that it's something we even have to talk about.
xo
You are right Vic, I choose a poor way to start that paragraph which I regretted after the fact. It did lower the tone of what I was trying to say and for that I am sorry.
ReplyDeleteI don't always get it right :(
I couldn't BF my first child in public because he screamed and fought every feed. My second bubba is the calmest feeder and I relish the lack of stress related to taking her out and about - I can feed her whenever, wherever! I feel perfectly comfortable feeding in the inner northern suburb where I live but on this week's holiday to the country I always looked around to make sure there weren't any fuddy-duddy looking types waiting to scold me. Then again, sometimes you can be pleasantly surprised - an old nanna who you think is going to tell you off might sit with you for tenminutes taling about how wonderful BFing is!
ReplyDeleteP.S. That was Jennie from Mrs Beckinsale!
ReplyDeleteDamn straight!
ReplyDeleteI must admit it took me a while to be truly comfortable with not only breastfeeding in public, but also in front of my friends. I think this was partly a hardware issue (very big boobs!) but also stemmed from my fears about "what people would think". I'm glad I got over it though and was very happy feeding Roman anywhere he needed in the end. This time round (I'm 2 days overdue!) I wont be so worried - the milk bar will be open for business!
he he he ... I was going to say that the problem with the first photo is that both mother and babe both look so clean wearing white - now that IS unnatural!!!
ReplyDeleteI am with you all the way on in regards to breastfeeding. There are so many advantages and it is SO naturally. Wonderfully so.
Essentially I think that women should just butt out of other women's decision making. I have been lucky to breast feed both my children easily - but I know that is not always the case for some women. I don't think we should make those people who can't (for whatever reason) feel bad either. They want the best for their babe too and they've come to their decision in their own way. Of course with more community support perhaps people would be less stressed out about it all and thus find it easy too!
As for facebook being offended by a breastfeeding mother and not beingt upset by underage girls wearing almost nothing being clearly pissed in photos = what the???? Where is the logic? Perhaps it is an American thing.
Thank you for such an articulate post. I am a proud public breastfeeding mother and I hope my 3 daughters will be too. I always make sure I smile at women breastfeeding in public, just to give some silent support.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree that it's a cultural issue here in Australia - in Norway or Sweden 90% of women breastfeed so no one bats an eye in public, unfortunately we have a long way to go for that kind of cultural change.
Breastfeeding is something we learn by seeing - and how many of us have been exposed to breastfeeding before we try to do it ourselves? This kind of prohibition is contributing to the trouble that so many women have getting breastfeeding established.
ReplyDeleteMy first baby is due in six weeks and I really hope that we can get breastfeeding to work. Wish me luck!
My proudest moment of my 80+ year old grandad (very old school, who NEVER swears) was when a man started heckling my cousin who was feeding her baby in a local shopping centre telling her to go to the bathroom and do it. My grandad, so taken back by it when he considdered it to be such a natural act and unworthy of condemnation said, "how about you fuck off and go eat your lunch in the shitter." Not for a second have I EVER thought breastfeeding in public should be taboo and I thank my grandad for that. Still brings tears of hilarity to my eyes.
ReplyDeletexB